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The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition | 
 enlarge | Author: Bernie Zilbergeld
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book
List Price: $17.00
Buy Used: $5.25
You Save: $11.75 (69%)
New (29) Used (35) Collectible (2) from $5.25
Avg. Customer Rating:  15 reviews
Sales Rank: 22585
Media: Paperback
Edition: Rev Sub
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 432
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.2
ISBN: 0553380427
Dewey Decimal Number: 613.96081
EAN: 9780553380422
ASIN: 0553380427
Publication Date: July 6, 1999
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: no writing or damage to text pages; binding good; cover in good condition with very light wear/tiny stains and small sticker on back; light stain on first page (non-text page) /958
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Product Description
The New Male Sexuality addresses the most urgent questions of men today--and of the women who love them.Bernie Zilbergeld reports findings from his twenty years as a psychologist specializing in human sexuality, as well as those other experts in the field, and shares his own and his clients' experiences.the result is the most comprehensive guide ever to enhancing desire and arousal, focusing on pleasure rather than performance, and keeping sex exciting and fulfilling.
Clear, comprehensive, witty, and refreshingly realistic, The New Male Sexuality is destined to be a classic of the nineties and beyond.
From the Paperback edition.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 10 more reviews...
 Very informative May 25, 2007
This book carries a lot of info, and was quite helpful to my situation.
great book for men January 4, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I found this book really helpfull. You can read it and it has some excercises that are helpfull. You can almost immediately feel a SLIGHT improvement after reading the relevant chapters
 The new Male Sexuality, revised Edition November 7, 2006
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Very useful book for both health personel and public. Very useful exercise tips for improvement of sexual function
EXCELLENT BOOK - BUT DR ZILBERGELD BADLY NEEDS TO DO AN UPDATE July 16, 2006
14 out of 23 found this review helpful
I've just read The New Male Sexuality and I've got to say, I'm really impressed... It is so rare to find a self-help book FOR MEN (most of that genre is very female oriented) and Dr Zilbergeld is very male-positive...
I also liked how he discussed the socialization of little boys - how young males learn that they should supress their feelings - "boys don't cry" - and the doctor's theory that this is the cause of much misery for adult males...
I heartily agree with Zilbergeld's conclusions here...
I only have a few criticisms...
Dr Zilbergeld tends to have a sociobiological view of modern behavior - he tends to present cultural gender roles as if they are biologically determined... This tends to undermine his arguments about male socialization (and, due to the radical differences in gender behavior in different societies, this view is fundamentally incorrect)
Also, Dr Zilbergeld tends to assume that every male is in a long term monogomous relationship... This is far from true (hell, that's the reason that I brought this book in the first place) and it would be helpful if he focused more of his advice for guys like me who don't have a woman..
Finally, the biggest flaw...
Apparently, Zilbergeld originally wrote this book a long time ago (the copyright info says the first edition was published in 1992)... and it shows...
Women (especialy women my age and younger - I'm 38) have changed a whole hell of a lot...
When Zelbergeld did the surveys, apparently most women were still looking for love and didn't like sex for sex's sake, like men stereotypically do...
THIS IS NO LONGER THE CASE...
In my experience over the last decade or so, many women these days basically dislike men...
They need males because men, on average, make more money than women (but women have a higher cost of living) and, of course, most women want to have babies, and you can't do that without male DNA... other than cash and genetic material, they'd rather not be bothered with us...
Also, many modern women can be as crass, vulgar and unemotional about sex as only men used to be...
For instance, in the section on penis size, Dr Zilbergeld claims that "size doesn't matter" to most women and women are, supposedly, very understanding about males who are 'undersized'
I beg to differ...
In my experience, women are VERY much concerned about size... and you WILL get ridiculed if the woman you're with thinks you are inadequate in that department....
The same for performance issues - if you aren't up to the task, many women will get really mad and start insulting you (they might even accuse you of being gay)
Women aren't as nice as they used to be....
There probably wern't that many of these women out there when Dr Zilbergeld did his original surveys....
There most certainly are now (especially in places like Manhattan, where I live)...
It's not as simple as it used to be... and assuming that all women aspire to a deep emotional connection above all else can be a very dangerous thing to do...
Basically, I think that Dr Zilbergeld needs to do an updating of this otherwise excellent book (but with all new interviews of this new generation of women - who are VERY different than their mothers and grandmothers when it comes to sexuality)
Still, this is an excellent read and a must buy for men looking for serious relationship advice intended for a male audience...
 This book is in tune with men, but not women. February 22, 2006
6 out of 18 found this review helpful
This book deserves credit for addressing men's needs for good sex, but is hit and miss for women.
A quote from the book:
"We men have taken a lot of heat in recent years for our attitudes about sex. We are told that we are obsessed with sex, expecially sex without love and commitment; that we push too hard for it and in inapproporate ways in both new and old relationships; and that we pout when we don't get what we want. Such attitudes, we are told, are immature and maybe downritght sick. But I think the criticisms themselves are wrongheaded and destructive. Males can't help having their attitiudes, which are probably due at least as much to physiology as to learning. Sex, afterall is live affirming, and there's no point in feeling bad about that." End quote.
I believe that men have often hurt women (and their relationships with women) to fullfill their sexual urges, but author severely downplays this as if it were uncommon and less harmful than it actually is.
The author gives a role-playing example on how to deal with conflict:
MAN: I find myself in a strange place. I agree with you that it's your body and I shouldn't touch you in ways you don't like. So I'll do my best not to touch your breast roughly. But I can't guarantee never to do it. What feels rough to you comes from a strong feeling of lust. I'm not sure I can always catch this impluse before I grab you. I think I can do it most of the time. But there my still be a few occaisions when I don't catch myself in time. I may already be squeezing your breast before I remember. It would help me a lot to know that you're not going to get upset if that happens occasionally. Maybe you could just remind me of what I'm doing.
End quote.
In my opinion the woman SHOULD get upset to the degree that it makes her feel violated. If it does not bother her much, a reminder is all that is needed. But what if it really does hurt her?
Women are very vulnerable during sex, and we need to feel safe. I would feel less safe with a man who read this book.
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