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The Marriage Benefit: The Surprising Rewards of Staying Together | 
 enlarge | Author: Mark O'connell
Publisher: Springboard Press
Category: Book
List Price: $23.99
Buy New: $12.50
You Save: $11.49 (48%)
New (25) Used (6) from $12.50
Avg. Customer Rating:  2 reviews
Sales Rank: 15694
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 224
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.5 x 1
ISBN: 0446581119
Dewey Decimal Number: 646.78
EAN: 9780446581110
ASIN: 0446581119
Publication Date: July 21, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Baby boomers' expectations for their marriages are often unrealistic. When their relationship comes up short on romance and sex, but seems long on disagreements and strife, many boomers choose to leave.
THE MARRIAGE BENEFIT is less a book about how to make our relationships better than it is about how our relationships can make us better if we just work on our expectations and improve communications. Harvard Medical School clinical instructor and psychotherapist O'Connell offers a peek behind the door of a marriage therapist, where readers can see that their problems are not unique.
Through wonderfully revealing anecdotes of couples with problems many of us face: long-held bitterness, diminished sexuality, the scars of infidelity, and the search for authentic meaning, O'Connell shows how by respecting each other's individuality, looking for "real" sex, and learning how to play with each other again, we can reap the benefits of the long-term emotional investment we've made.
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| Customer Reviews:
clinical excellence and compelling August 4, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
this is a fine book and a good read. the author is clinically savvy and writes beautifully. Not only does he make a compelling case for the ripening of a relationship and the accompanying relational and erotic unfolding, but he also introduces reality into that most complex of phenomena--marriage
A must-read for marrieds July 22, 2008
22 out of 22 found this review helpful
I loved this book. One of my favorite pieces of advice is "celebrate your differences." To me, this was a real mind opener: you don't have to turn him/her into a clone of yourself; differences are okay and even enriching; improving a bad pattern is more a matter of modeling something better than trying to change your partner. Another great recommendation is "have real sex"--messy, funny, human sex that's a piece of the conversation rather than some specialized performance or ritual. O'Connell's stories of people's most intimate moments are a great antidote to the airbrushed images we see all the time, where everybody's young and a sexual athlete. The idea that we can grow older and still be on an adventure, still play and learn and discover new things, all inside our long-term marriages, is happy news for baby boomers. And we get great stories of real people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, involved in real struggles, who find real solutions and joy while staying together. This book is a must-read for anyone working on the most important relationship they will ever have.
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