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The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life | 
 enlarge | Authors: Albert Ellis, Marcia Grad Powers
Publisher: Wilshire Book Company
Category: Book
List Price: $12.00
Buy New: $6.24
You Save: $5.76 (48%)
New (27) Used (19) from $2.47
Avg. Customer Rating:  21 reviews
Sales Rank: 23861
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 230
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.3 x 0.6
ISBN: 0879804459
Dewey Decimal Number: 153.6
EAN: 9780879804459
ASIN: 0879804459
Publication Date: October 2000
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Condition: BRAND NEW O4
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| Customer Reviews: Read 16 more reviews...
 From the bully's perspective May 10, 2008
Ellis brags in "REBT: it works for me" how his ABC program affirmed his life-long habit of sneaking up to women to press his genitals against them as well as his belief that no woman can be tolerated without continual affairs (his wife didn't agree, and just left). He also never felt any desire to have children (not personally fulfilling I would guess). The harsh tone of this book is due to being written from the perspective of an admitted and even "self-actualized" abuser. If you're such a victim that this is how you prefer the truth delivered, this book is for you (and wholly about you). Personally, I would recommend just leaving (rather than learning how to live with, as his wife decided) such abusive behavior (including reading this book) in the hopes that your children won't grow up thinking such behavior is normal (as Ellis does). Buddha said the truth can be a lie, such as calling you fat simply to hurt and control. In that respect, this book is a well written lie. But, such is sadly a core aspect of all humanistic psychology... that right and wrong and a "good life" come from subjective personal choices in the moment without relying on existing codes and social norms. I would instead recommend marriage books by Dr. David M. Schnarch (most respected relationship counselor, at least he was able to stay married and raise a daughter), "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman, verbal defense books by Thompson or Suzette Elgin (especially her excellent "You can't say that to me!"), as well as boundary books by Cloud and Townsend. I cannot suggest, as A Customer does, any books by Patricia Evans since she has NO training and very little experience (two things Ellis has in spades - and why I gave this book two stars). Ellis just needs to be heavily edited.
 Enlightening! March 25, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Before reading this book, I had never realized how I was contributing to my misery. Even though I had accepted that I could not change my partner, I continued to stew over the incidents of his abuse, reliving them in my head again and again. The resulting preoccupation with my situation kept me from participating in enjoyable activities with other people.
When he becomed abusive in the future, I will clearly point out to him that I have nothing to do with his anger and that he is fully responsible for his actions. Then I will focus on something I enjoy doing.
A must for all abused persons October 10, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is a great book for everyone that's been verbally abused, past and present. There is nothing like reading firsthand from someone that has been through all the emotions herself. Marcia Powers writes what we all feel and gives us a way to cope and answers our fears about leaving.
 Not helpful at all... Please don't get this... September 16, 2007
3 out of 4 found this review helpful
I have read several books on verbally abusive relationships and I had to put this one down half way through, because like a previous reviewer stated it really does put too much blame on the victim. I would not recommend this book to anybody who is trying to get out of a verbally abusive relationship.
One of the better books on the subject January 12, 2007
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
This book talks about how to manage your life, whether you get out of a verbally abusive relationship or not. However, I really think any book dealing with the subject should also include information on how to escape a harmful relationship. This book is excellent at identifying the problem, and giving realistic ways of dealing with yourself. But no one can survive constant crushing blows to their spirit, self-esteem, and identities forever. If one becomes aware, one must make a change.
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